Ungodly long names of makeup products

Haven’t you noticed? Once upon a time there was simply Maybelline Great Lash Mascara. Sometime before that there was probably just Maybelline Cake Mascara, or something. These days it’s Maybelline Volum’ Express The Falsies Black Drama Mascara and Maybelline Illegal Length Fiber Extensions Mascara. I doubt that I’m alone in feeling like a real derp (idiot, whatever) when I can’t find a product like that from the store and I go ask about it from an employee… When a product’s name is the length of an entire, normal sentence, I have to wonder if it has perhaps gone a bit too far?

Let me just apply some of that L’Oreal Paris Advanced Hairstyle CURVE IT Elastic Curve Mousse to my hair and I’m good to go!


Seriously, does nobody stop to think that “man, this name takes up half of the bottle!” when coming up with these…

I secretly dream of starting a cosmetic line of my own where the product names are along the lines of “Jenni’s Lavender Shampoo”. I get that the cosmetic industry folk are trying to just distinguish their products from the products of another brand and yes, like every descriptive word is trademarked or copyrighted to one of the companies by now, which certainly doesn’t make the naming job easier. But… do you really need 20 different kinds of lengthening mascara? Why not just make a really good one? Less animal testing to do too, when you don’t shove out a new mascara every month.

All I can say is:


One thought on “Ungodly long names of makeup products

  1. Coco Chanel, Yves-Saint Laurent, and so on… Nevermind their names, their ads are also phenomenally pointless. It is amusing.
    With that face, you could do the advertising for your cosmetic line yourself O:

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